This continues our guest post series on expanding families from mothers in our Denver Natural Mom community. Thank you Rachael for sharing! Read the first post about expanding families here.
What I Learned After #2
“Will I be able to handle a newborn and 2 year old by myself?”
“Will I be able to give them the love and attention they both need and deserve?”
“Will postpartum be as challenging the second time around?”
“Will I be able to work & stay home 100% with the kids?”
These are the thoughts that ran over in my head like a bad Disney kids song. As the days drew closer to our second entering the family I clung to our first in hopes that I could stop time. Would I be damaging her by taking attention away from her?
Looking back a little over a year ago, I still don’t have all the answers to the questions that kept me up at night. But what I do have is infinitely better. The first year is really hard. Breast feeding is emotionally and mentally challenging for me, and I will be completely honest in that I don’t love the baby stage. Being a mom of two took time to transition but just like after our first was born, it’s impossible to imagine a life without either of them. They are the perfect puzzle pieces in our life.
The things I learned over the last year have been exactly what I needed to learn:
Postpartum is just as hard physically & mentally; you just know a little more what to expect.
I still put too much pressure on myself to do and be everything to everyone.
Baby #2 will have their own personality traits and issues to work out. And they will look nothing like your first baby.
There will be really really really hard days and JUST surviving is 100% ok. There’s always tomorrow.
The days will pass so much faster the second time around.
Watching your two children play together will trump every bad day forever.
Don’t have an infant and toddler share a room.
Me Time is a thousand times more important when there are two little humans clawing at you.
You lean on your support system even more, but that’s why they’re there.
You will figure out how to juggle two kids. Most of the time they take turns when melting down. And when they don’t, there’s always wine.
Everything I thought being a mother of two looked like doesn’t even come close to how it really feels. I knew I loved Delilah, but the love that multiplied after Crosby blew me away. Love doesn’t end, it’s never ending.
Being down in the trenches of motherhood is HARD. So freaking hard. Then throw work, spouses, and life on top and well you start to learn life isn’t a cake walk. Our children are meant to challenge our values, views, assumptions, and ideals. I’m so grateful for the last year and all its struggles, because without it I wouldn’t have two beautiful little people. The transition may be difficult but once you’re on the other side you’ll see it’s all worth it.
I’m Rachael, a photographer for busy young families that hate posing and want to fall in love with their life. I photograph families and help them press pause on the road of life. Every day I attempt to press pause on my own journey with two young kids, Delilah (3) and Crosby (1). They are my everything.