The very first lesson we ever learn as mothers is that it’s not always up to us. Giving birth for the first time makes it clear that we are not in charge of every outcome.
When we are pregnant, we do our research. Maybe we had friends who were already moms and we trust them to tell us the truth about birth. Sometimes we’re at the mercy of the Internet. No matter where we get our information, we make plans for what we will do when we go into labor. We write up directions for everyone around us and think that these birth plans tell exactly how it will happen.
As if we can produce this event, and tell that baby to just follow the script and enter the scene on cue. If you have seen a baby enter this world with your own eyes, you know that there are no scripts.
I have a nearly-2-year-old and there are still no scripts.
She has an opinion and a point of view. Turns out all kids have opinions, sometimes strong ones, and they start that pretty early. They can make our plans irrelevant in a heartbeat and challenge us to roll with each moment. Make decisions on the fly. Improvise.
Moms get skilled in dealing with life’s circumstances and their first chance to practice this skill is when they get that baby out in to the world.
Obviously there are parts to birth that no one can control. And at the same time there is one small part mothers can control.
I learned this recently from talking to a Certified Nurse Midwife and the Natural Parent Expo Keynote Speaker Tracy Ryan.
In the 5 Ps of Birth, there is only ONE of FIVE factors you can control and that’s your psyche. Your pelvis and passageway, the passenger (aka baby) and the power of your contractions are all out of your control.
We work on our psyche by training our heads and hearts to believe positive birth messages and then let the rest go!
Once our babies arrive, the work has only just begun. Remember that there’s only that small part we control. Give yourself a break and let the rest go!
**This post originally appeared as a guest post on Mile High Mamas and has been reposted with permission.**